I want LOVE.

Revisiting an old friend, Rudy Francisco:

“I want that ‘my friends think I’m crazy’ kinda love.


That reckless kinda love.


That ‘wake up early, make you breakfast’ kinda love.


That ‘crack open my life and say look, you gotta see this’ kinda love.


Forget the shallow stuff, I want the deepest kinda love. That ‘I wanna stay up late and tell you all my secrets’ kinda love.


That ‘every time I see you, I fall in pieces’ kinda love.


I want that ‘stand next to me’ kinda love. That ‘you are my destiny’ kinda love.


That ‘no matter what happens, you’ll always get the best of me’ kinda love.


That ‘you get my heart and my mind; this world gets the rest of me’ kinda love. That ‘invest in me’ kinda love. That ‘you already know that I’ve invested in you’ kinda love.


That ‘you come home upset, you don’t even gotta say nothin’, I already know what to do’ kinda love.


I want…I want love.”

I LOVE today.

Even though I (allegedly) owe $640 to the government day after tomorrow, and don't know where I'll be living in 2 weeks (again), and will be officially over the mid-twenties-hill on the 17th (embracing my wisdom and astoundingly enviable life-stability) - today was a good day.

I'm helping to co-facilitate a life-coaching group in Oakland through the non-profit I work for. Everyone in the group is hoping to exit their career counseling sessions with the skills to achieve a job in the "Green" industry (installing solar panels etc). Most of the students have had children at a young age, or didn't graduate high school, and/or have had other familial and life hardships. Although they are motivated to get the most out of the experience, they also have a(n understandably) tough exterior - says the only white girl in the room today dubbed "college-girl".

One of the exercises we did this afternoon was to sit one at a time at the top of the group while each classmate told you what they liked about you. Everyone was respectful, everyone had something to say, and everyone was smiling. At the end, a particularly quiet student said this in reflection:

"Sometimes I am really shy in this group and I don't say much. But I appreciated the chance to tell everyone how I really feel. We see each other every week and soon we will go our own ways, and I realize without this activity I would have never said anything."

I swear I didn't cry. But I wanted to. That might have deteriorated my authority as "college-girl". Who seems like I could also be a "home-girl". So true. So true.

D Day.

Or Q day, as it were. Q as in Quit. Not sure if they covered that one on Sesame Street, but they should have because I could have used a step by step guide.



My friend Dani, who is in sales, offered me free quitting consultations where she indicated "less is more" and emphasized "the silent close". Which, loosely translated is (with the grain of salt that is my mind), "I've received a better offer, I'm giving you 3 weeks notice, and am happy to answer any questions you may have if you put them in writing." Scene.

I said loosely.

It was good to go in with this in the back of my mind because it kept me from jabbering, or revealing too much - for the most part. I mean who is worried about their bosses feelings? While they're quitting?

The conversation was followed up by a dot-pointed e-mail from my boss outlining the reasons I shouldn't leave. Awkward.

So in the new year I'll be back in the non-profit world which is really exciting. Yet another transition! Keep 'em coming I guess.

In other holiday news - my sisters and I recorded a Christmas album for my parents containing such smash hits as "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and "Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear". It's a sad attempt for the most part, but the super raw/uncut version contains snippets of Jessica clearing her throat, me telling her to shut up, and Stephanie smashing peppermint in the background. Even GarageBand and autotune couldn't help us. I'll see if I can post something so you can get a taste of what it's like to be our parents. They were SO proud.

I LOVE my iPhone. Yup, I'm that girl.

I mean, honestly.

Boizer the Cat.

Last month there was a mini fire in the apartment next door to us, I think it was a stove fire or you know, an 'experiment' gone awry. In SF style about four fire trucks lit up our street and after peeking my head out the window, I made the executive decision to pull my room mate out of the shower. 'Put on a towel. Seriously you HAVE to come see this.' We stood out on the fire escape in the foggy night and watched the crazies file out of the building one by one like a clown car (one of them wasn't wearing shoes or a shirt - so the other neighbor took off his second layer of socks to gift his friend in need). None of this was surprising as Jenna can rarely catch a quiet nap due to the echoing conversations between our neighbor and his cat, Boizer.

While I was making lunch the other day, I overhead one such interaction and tried to capture it. **Turn up the volume, it's a rare moment of hilarity:

"I'll see you tomorrow

Love you Boizer!

Behave now ok?

Come up whenever you can ok?

Boizer if you wanna come up now you can come up...

Oohh - what do you sense Boizer?"

I think he sensed me....

Sometimes you have to wear a feather in your hat. When the hat belongs to a conductor.

You may know that I was recently in the wedding of a close childhood friend. The ceremony was held at the Trentadue Winery in Healdsburg and festivities spanned 4 crazy days. To summarize in a choppy fashion - wine tasting, hot tub, 15 women stuffed in one hotel room, brief moments of starvation, champagne, terror inducing speech (video, which exists, to be filed along with that of me falling down the stairs at my college graduation - I vow to never watch them), more wine/booze, HANGOVER. It was a blast. And I think this picture speaks to that well, and also to the fact that I did not meet my "no cleavage" challenge.

What can you do but Enjoy.

I got my aura read by a Balloon Man.

So I'm at my new job, maybe day 3 or 4, and I'm tasked with tracking down a balloon artist to sculpt a ginormous piece for the Salesforce.com event at Mascone later this year. I do some preliminary research - said artiste has traveled the world (a la www.wherethehellismatt.com) doing a sociology study on happiness meets balloon making for cute kids/people of varying nationalities. This is, by the way, my interpretation based on a 5 minute overview upon which jealousy overwhelmed me and I was forced to close the tab. Mr. Balloon Man calls me after I send through an inquiry and the conversation goes, loosely, as follows:

ME: "Hey, I was wondering if you would be available on blah date, for what cost, do the balloons last 3 days - blah details blah"
Mr. Balloon Man: "I might be traveling, I'm involved in this TV show - what kind of event is it? What kind of people will they be? What kind of information will they be getting?"
ME: "uhh...it's a Salesforce.com event, which is an online database....
SILENCE
...and the attendees will be their customers from all over the bay area and the world..."
SILENCE
Mr. Balloon Man: "Can I ask you a question?"
Me: "OK".
Mr. Balloon Man: "Do you like your job?"

Simple question. Awkward timing. No answer.

It was the right question at the wrong time as I had to think about the answer and simultaneously speak some formation of a lie. And although my boss is extremely intelligent and motivated - I've sold my soul again for another job that's not really advancing my career or my bank account.

But alas, I HAVE a job. I'll admit I like a schedule. And a paycheck - well many paychecks really. So complaining shall cease.

Here's to you, balloon man. Maybe one day I too will get to ask people questions like that whilst I sit on my high horse of happiness and my own business. And if I'm lucky that high horse will actually be a unicorn made of balloons and I can fly into the rainbow sunset.

I'm not bitter.